Start where you are.



Sitting in my present moment.

That's the name of the book I'm reading by Pema Chodrun.  So, where am I?  I'm sitting right here, in my very own present moment.  It's weird to just be right here, not in my past, not thinking about what's next--just right here.  It does feel very freeing to let go of all the other stuff and just be.  But, who am I without my past or my future?  I think I'm just me.  And I'm okay with that.  In this moment, it doesn't seem difficult at all to just be me.  Why does it usually?  Who am I trying to be?  I feel fairly certain that I can only be the me that I am. 
I've never really understood the whole "new age-y" live in the present moment philosophy, probably because I never felt like I had time to be present when I really needed to be in about five other places at any given time.  But, there just might be something to it.  So, how can I practice this "being present" all day?  How is it supposed to work? 

My to-do list is very mundane today. 
1.  Clean off the Christmas tree and bring it inside.
2.  Call my neighbor to get the name of the product she uses to clean her wood floors.
3.  Clean my wood floors.
4.  Go to the grocery store for dinner ingredients.
5.  Call my daughter and buy ticket for Christmas visit.
6.  Call the man I asked to give me a job.
7.  Meet the washing machine repairman.
8.  Go to the nursery for plants for the front door.
9.  Drive daughter to and from dance.
10.  Cook dinner.
11.  Visit with the woman who wants help with her clothing store.

Maybe that would mean actually listening to the people I come in contact with?  Making eye contact?  Perhaps when I'm driving my daughter I find a way to connect with who she is today, rather than just finding her some food and listening to the radio.  Or when the repairman is here, I am mindful of feeling grateful.  At the nursery, actually seeing the beautiful plants would be a way of being present.  Cleaning my floors?  I don't know about that one!  The Christmas tree is one I made when I was welding, so I know that spending some time with something I created could be inspiring if I am open to it.  Maybe that's what this is actually about; opening myself to whatever comes in the moment and then actually being aware of how or what I feel about it.  This seems so simple, but it's not something I do very often. 

I'm going to give it a try.